标签归档:中国

18岁女孩泪洒加拿大 屈辱不堪的移民生活


  本文讲述了了一个三口之家辛酸的移民之路,虽然家庭破裂了,但移民最后的目的达到了,女孩在17岁即获得了独立。这也是众多移民家庭真实的写照之一,也告诫了正希望移民的同胞们,在没有足够的经济能力之前,请不要轻易考虑移民。

  13岁:移民加国自信受挫

  2003年,家里办好了加拿大技术移民,我那时13岁,正读初一。可移民成功并没有给爸妈带来太多的兴奋,随之而来的却是很长时间的犹豫和挣扎。妈妈当时是我们当地一个国营企业的技术骨干,主管一个很大的项目;爸爸也评上了教授,且升职为大学一家研究中心主任。放弃这一切,爸妈需要很大的勇气。他们在经过复杂的思想斗争后,为了我美好的将来,还是决定举家迁移到地球的另一面——加拿大。

  爸爸先走四个月,我和妈妈在我初一毕业后的暑假上了飞机,我们的目的地是加拿大魁北克省蒙特利尔市。魁北克是个法语省,很多政策都和加拿大其它省份不一样,福利比较优厚。只要上政府提供的法语课就可以拿钱,所以相当吸引新移民,爸爸也是被吸引者之一。我们到达蒙特利尔时,爸爸已经租好了房子。此房位于三楼,两室一厅,每月房租400加元,不包水电,虽然爸爸捡来的旧桌椅和脏兮兮的床垫好歹可以维持家的样子,可比起在国内我们那个豪华的家,这里给我的第一感觉就像下榻在一个“猪窝”里。

  很快,爸爸给我报了中学,我进入中学的欢迎班开始了我的法语课程。所谓欢迎班,就是把所有年龄相近的新移民小孩编班、专门学习基础法语的班级。由魁省教育局提供,几乎所有公立中学都提供这种教育,用一年的时间集中学习法语,然后再开始接受正规教育。 阅读全文……

浅谈香港电影的没落


前言:张三和李四是邻居,张三以前经常做坏事,李四就喜欢批评他。后来张三雇佣李四当佣人,给好多的薪水,李四想了想,再也不批评张三了。李四就是现在的香港电影。经过几代香港华人和英国人的殖民统治,香港可谓是华人圈里最自由的地方。而香港电影和香港文化自金融风暴之后一蹶不振,不由让人怀念起香港电影过去的辉煌。

尽管香港很小,英国人胃口小,俄国人张口就是一百多万平方公里,英国人只要了一个香港岛歇歇脚。即便是港英时期,香港电影无论辉煌和没落,都与中国文化和中国政治息息相关。有时候,我们的审查机关为了显示民族和谐,总是在内地影视剧里,把清狗、满清鞑子、蒙古鞑子等字眼去除,以为这样就可以缓解民族矛盾,所以看CCTV的“央视金庸大片”,多是看不出民族大义上的味道,貌似是一群好人和另一群好人在过家家,一番大东亚共荣的和谐景象。看香港影视剧则不同,爱憎分明,能够把历史和武侠融于一体,尽管制作不够精良,但仍久看不厌。

当然,辉煌的香港电影,总是少不了中国政治的身影,香港电影大胆评论中国政治,也是在97之前非常常见的。例如三级片导演之王前王晶先生的经典之作《赌神2》,里面就穿插了大量的政治场景。国内看到的《赌神2》自然被水产了许多镜头:里面的公安局长郝精忠(徐锦江饰演)、张宝成、开×、千赌湖、柴×,无疑用王晶的电影幽默讽刺了国内政治。1994年的电影,千赌湖、船被炸,不由得想起了前段时间在一五一十部落上被和谐的“千岛湖事件”文章。该电影内容之敏感也注定国内公开看不到,或者只能够看到阉割版。 阅读全文……

死刑犯枪决后尸体如何处理(很恐怖)


学医有个好处,那就是与死亡的接触比较多,所以对于死亡的畏惧就比别人少很多。而且,学医还能做一件事情,就是接触尸体,并且对尸体进行解剖,我们所解剖的,大都是死刑犯的尸体,缺半个脑袋或者脑袋上一个大洞的,一看就是被步枪崩的,死相悲惨非常,可是除了这样的死掉,之后还要被医学生分尸,那真是天大的惨事了!所以,希望人们最好不要犯罪,特别是,千万要一忍再忍,即便真的犯罪也不要去犯死罪。

记得上解剖课的时候,台子上放着许多人体的骨骼和肌肉关节等等,我真怀疑这些东西是怎么到这个桌子上的,那是最开始的系统解剖学的时候所见到的场景,起初我还以为那些都是假的,后来经过仔细的研究,发现它们不是塑料,再研究一下发现它们的表面上都有发霉样的东西,最后仔细的一闻,一股牛肉干的味道进入鼻孔,我一下子明白过来这就是正经八百的生人肉,但是毕竟没有看到血淋淋的人躺在我的面前,所以我没有感到什么害怕的地方,只是有一种极度怀疑的感觉,这些东西是怎么来的? 阅读全文……

汉字是谁发明的 韩国人在外国论坛的丢人行为


  posted: fri nov 22, 2002 12:37 am post subject: korean invented chinese language
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  chinese historian like to twist the history around, everybody know about it.
  u just need to look at the baduk/weiqi intellectual game, korean always easily beat down chinese .if this is really your invention, why chinese done so poorly?
  and look also at the sport, the world cup, chinese also done very badly if compare to korean.
  in modern technology, korean made products like samsung, lg, hyundai,kia
  are popular everywhere, where is chinese?
  a population of 1.3 billion can't beat down a small nation with only 40 million , or 80 million if u want include north kore, but still we done much better than chinese in almost every area.
  the truh is out there, is just depend on you guys weather want to accept it or not.
  many chinese historian in china also agree that dongyi was korean and the creator for da'wek kou culture. it was also recoded in shi ji from shima ji.

  翻译: 中国的历史学家喜欢歪曲历史,这是谁都知道的事情.
  你只要看一看"围棋"这个智力项目,韩国人总是打败中国人.如果它是中国人发明的,那中国人怎么表现总是那么糟糕?世界杯也是同样的例子.
  在现代的技术中,韩国人创造的三星.lg,现代,起亚风靡世界,中国人在哪呢?
  13亿打败不了一个4千万的民族,(如果加上北韩的话是8千万),我们几乎在所有的领域做的都比中国人好.
  真理就在这儿,不管你们是否接受它.
  许多中国历史学家也同意东夷是韩国人,并且创造了"大汶口"文化……    
    
  posted: sat nov 23, 2002 4:44 am post subject: re: korean invented chinese language
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  another good post that non chinese will able to deny it.
  during prehistory from neolithic to iron age, there were two cultures in north-east asaia. in northeastern part (s siberia, central asia , manchuria, and also current korean peninsula), nomadic people dominated, whereas culture based on agriculture dominated southern china. nomadic people mostly spoke in altaic or other similar languages, while agriculture-based people mostly spoke in chinese-tibetan or proto-austronesian. chinese archaeologists have mostly focused on the latter. together with languages, features of bronze weaspons or tomb styles were clearly distinctive between the two. ultimately, climate changes to dry/cold conditions drove the nomadic people to the south (koreans and japanese) and to the west (turk, xian-no, etc).
    
  it is also quite certain that the nomadic people in northern china and southern siberia firstly cultivated allium altaicum, the progenitor of allium fistulosum, and allium sativum, the progenitor of allium longicuspis.
    
  with respect to various writing systems developed during the bronze age and/or during shang state, one thing is certain: writing systems came from the east (altaic/nomadic people), not from the west or the south. it is quite certain that people lived in the east were not han or hua people. do you know who published the first chinese dictionary in history? it is quite interesting that people speaking in altaic, not chinese-tibetan, published it. what kind of spoken language did yin/shang people use? this will be a quite good question for your exploration into the ultimate inventor of current chinese characters.
    
  翻译: 在新石器时代到铁器时代的史前文明中,在东北亚有两种文明.在东北亚地区(西伯力亚/中亚/满州以及现在的朝鲜半岛),游牧民族居于统治地位,而农耕文明在中国南部居于统治地位.游牧民族大部分都说阿尔泰以及相似的语系,而农耕文明大部分说汉藏语系.中国考古学家大部分都集中研究后者.而两种语言,青铜器的样子和墓制的样式完全不一样,而又干又冷的天气环境让游牧民族进入了南部.
  非常肯定的事情是,北中国和南西泊力亚培育了__(此处不知怎么翻译),____的祖先
  在青铜器时代或者商代发展了不同的书写系统,有一件事可以非常确定—书写系统来自东部(阿尔泰/游牧民族),而不是西部和南部.还可以确定的是,东部的人不是汉族.你知道历史上谁出版了第一本汉字字典吗?非常有趣的事是这是说阿尔泰语的人做的而不是说汉藏语系的人做的.殷商时代的人使用的何种语言?这对你们研究谁是汉字的发明者是个非常好的问题.

  i think all anyone can say is that "korean made more contribution to the development of what is known as chinese language than currently acknowledged". workings of business, economy, technology, trade, and commerce are the same today as they were 5000 years ago. what drives linguistic development in today's world? well, it's computer. you don't need as much language to grow plant or raise animals. in other words, it is technology which drives language, not agriculture. so, technology in the old days were ceramics and casting technology, which korea was and still is world leader.
    
  翻译: 我认为任何人都可以这么说-"韩国人对大家所认知的汉字发展贡献更大.商业/经济/技术/贸易和5千年前一样,是什么么语言发展了当今世界?是计算机.你不会用语言去种养植物以及饲养动物,换句话说,是从语言中发展而来的技术,而不是农业.所以,在古代,技术就是制陶业和锻造业,而这些技术韩国一直是世界的先驱.    
  shanxi wrote:
  ……………………….chinese invented and created their own language. posting by peter is totally crap and ridiculous, the person trying to make a confusion here actually.
    
    
  oh my gosh..i can't believe that chinese people are soo ingnorant about their own history!!!!!!!!! chinese people didn't create their own language…they had to use another aboriginal's written language, and then on, they called it their own!! because of inferiority issues,,,they claim that they invented their own language..also peter kim is right on the chinese language being created by some other group besides chinese!! i think chinese (students) should relook at their history once again,,,it seems to me that people (me for instance) that are not chinese have a better knowledge of chinese history than some chinese people do…some people are ethnocentric..and it seems to me that you are…or whoever that posted this..peter you're correct on this, except the korean part of course
    
  翻译:
  中国人发明了他们自己的语言,楼主在这里胡言乱语,混淆是非.
    
  又有一个韩国白痴跟贴反驳:
  我的天哪,中国人居然对他们的历史是这样的无知,中国人根本没有创造自己的语言,他们不得不用其他原住民的书写系统,然后,他们说那是他们自己的.因为自卑的原因,他们说他们发明了自己的语言.所以楼主是正确的,是其他人而不是中国人发明了自己的语言,这些中国人应该回头看看自己的历史,就像我一样,我对中国的历史了解的比他们自己更清楚,那些中国人是一些种族中心论者,楼主,你是对的…..    
    
  其他国外网友的反驳:
    
  posted: sun sep 29, 2002 6:38 am post subject: re: korean invented chinese language
  ——————————————————————————–
  everyone knowes that japanese and korean both derived from chinese, why waste your time with this crap?
  任何人都知道日本人和韩国人源自中国,你为什么在这浪费时间废话!

  floreo
  guest posted: sat nov 09, 2002 7:15 am post subject: re: korean invented chinese language
  ——————————————————————————–
  shoot, the first one in this thread didnt even have the necessary geographical idea about korea and china. the palace location for shang dynasty is in anyang which is almost in the middle of china. so how come koreans would travel so deep into china as to make the characters???this is way to stupid! i don't wanna talk more about it!

  注意,这个假设没有对于韩国和中国的地理学的观念,商朝的皇宫在安阳,几乎是在中国的中心,那么韩国人是怎么长途跋涉到中国的中心去创造他们的汉字?这太愚蠢了,我不想再说什么了

  anthony
  guest
  posted: fri nov 15, 2002 3:46 pm post subject: re: korean invented chinese language
  ——————————————————————————–
  everyone know the chinese has the longest continous culture in the world. chinese cultures have influences many cultures in southeast asia and east asia like japan and korean.
  任何人都知道中国有着世界最长的连续不短的历史,中国文明影响了许多东南亚和东亚的国家,比如日本和韩国. 
   
  posted: mon nov 25, 2002 9:17 pm post subject: re: korean invented chinese language
  ——————————————————————————–
  korean invented everything.
    
  这个外国朋友很无奈的说:"韩国人发明了一切"
    
  peterkim
  guest
  posted: mon dec 02, 2002 12:50 am post subject: re: korean invented chinese language
  ——————————————————————————–
  confucius was chinese but lao tze not.
  taoism has korean origin too.
  韩国人又跳出来说;"孔子是中国人但是老子不是,韩国是道教的起源"
    
  posted: fri dec 20, 2002 12:22 am post subject: re: korean invented chinese language
  ——————————————————————————–
  enough, this topic is just provocating us to hate each other, and nobody (except some stone-head people) would believe that chinese character (han zi) is invented by korean…
  够了够了,这个主题只会引起相互仇恨,没有人(除了一些石头脑子的人)会认为汉字是韩国人发明的….    

  hkb
  guest
  posted: thu mar 13, 2003 2:49 am post subject: re: korean invented chinese language
  ——————————————————————————–
  technically, at the time when china had all its inventions, there wasn't a clear distinction of "korean" or "japanese" they weren't really nationalities yet. except for maybe japan.
  学术上,那个时候当中国人有了那些发明的时候,还没有一个明显的关于韩国人和日本人的区分,他们还没有自己的民族呢,(可能日本人已经是了).    

  alaxieniye
  guest
  posted: wed jun 18, 2003 7:09 pm post subject: re: korean invented chinese language
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  what i see? a gang of pro-korean idiots telling bull-shits!!
  chinese invented chinese. korean invented korean.
  korean is an altaic language, with a lot of words from chinese! it's a sino-xenik ( but not a sino_tibetan language). korean words borrowed from chinese are of fujian orrigin ( hokkien, fukien:) korean could not invent hanzi, because hanzi do not fit for korean language at all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  我都看到什么了?一群史前韩国白痴在胡扯!!
  中国人发明了汉字,韩国人发明了韩语.
  韩语是一种阿尔泰语,其中很多都来自汉语.它是一种受汉语影响的语言(但不是汉藏语系),韩语是从中国福建地区借鉴而来,韩国人不可能发明汉字,因为那根本不适合他们的语言习惯    
  posted: thu jul 10, 2003 5:34 pm post subject: re: korean invented chinese language
  ——————————————————————————–
  the one whom wrote this has little knowledge of history. it shows that how ignorant korean are! it's such a shame! btw please study where does korean comes from.
  楼主对历史一无所知,那只能说韩国人是多么愚蠢,这是个羞耻,请先研究韩国人(韩语}从哪里来.
    
    
  一个叫"james campbell"的老外对韩国白痴有理有据的反击:
  in conclusion…
    
  i don't think the chinese get enough recognition for their inventions. that includes chinese characters. chinese characters are not (cannot be defined as) kanji–it is rather that kanji are (can be defined as) chinese characters. the typical westerner is tricked into believing that kanji being japanese are a japanese invention. even i was tricked this way until i investigated. they may have changed the look of a few here, and added a few there, but they're not the invention of the japanese. this is the same for korean too.
    
  i even heard once, but i cannot prove it or give the source, that the chinese were on the verge of inventing a car many many centuries ago while europe was still in the dark ages and suffering from plagues and death, but the technology didn't advance far enough due to political unrest. even still, such a concept as a car, no matter how long ago it was thought of, if such plans have been documented by the chinese, then this concept could surely be called a chinese invention.
    
  so i don't give a care about the names dongyi, shang, dawenkou, or whatever, the koreans cannot be claimed responsible for any of the chinese language or inventions. a korean should not try and deceive people by digging so far into history so that others will be easily tricked into believing they are a true race of innovation. they are the most backward, selfish, inward looking people i have ever met, and until recently have always been against any development happening in the world outside of korea. they have always positioned themselves as the "little brother" of china (look at the shape of their peninsula), and throughout history they always ran to the "real and only" recognized emporer in china for help and guidance. china has had open communication with the west through the silk road and with the wise teachings from india for millennia. they have been open to the world, and have been innovative themselves providing their inventions to the world. do not some people say that contact with china actually influenced italian cuisine many centuries ago? what did korea and japan contribute to europe? hangul? kimono?
    
  for all the pride running through the blood veins of the korean, if the chinese had an ounce of it, they would be a greater nation than they are. how could they let the japanese trample them in wwii? the chinese should rise up and be proud of everything that is chinese, and do not let the koreans and japanese take the credit. maybe they should have taxed the japanese and koreans for using their characters, or force them to abandon the script if they would not be willing to be part of their empire. but that goes to prove to you how benevolent the chinese actually are and that they were willing to allow the outer lying barbarian tribes attempt to educate themselves. besides, it was their forefathers such as confucius, mencius and many others teaching and spreading humane values, all such wise forefathers that the outer lying barbarians lacked.
    
  nobody invented language. there was a natural need for communication and it evolved naturally.
    
  back to top
    
  james campbell
  guest
  posted: tue oct 29, 2002 10:45 am post subject: re: korean invented chinese language
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  and i forgot to mention, as an answer westerners do not find a use for hangul or kimonos at all. but you can find at this forum that so many westerners want the chinese characters, to have them tattooed on their bodies. i never heard of westerners wanting hangul or hiragana tattooed on their bodies. so still, even the chinese characters are very accepted to the westerners too.
    
  i even heard that the korean government was trying so hard for the international community to accept their invention that they tried to convince small native tribes to use hangul to write their language, but i never heard of this actually happening.
  我认为中国人对他们自己的发明没有有着足够的认知,这包括汉字.中国汉字不是日本汉字,倒可以说日本汉字是中国汉字.典型的西方人错以为日本汉字是日本人的发明.甚至我也被欺骗了直到我研究了它.汉字可能已经在这改变了一点儿,在那又增加了一点儿,但它不是日本人发明的,更不是韩国人.
  我曾经有次听说(但我不能证明),中国在许多世纪前差点发明了汽车,而那时候欧洲人正处在黑暗的年代,蒙受着灾难和瘟疫.但是中国那时候没有足够的技术,而且政治骚乱.但是,就"车"这个概念,不管它是多久前想的,但是这个计划已经被中国记录了,或许这个概念可以叫做中国发明.
  所以我并不关心什么"东夷"."大汶口"什么的,但韩国人不能宣称他们发明了汉字.韩国人不应该尝试和挖掘历史来欺骗人们,以至于人们会相信他们才是发明源泉的谎言.韩国人是我曾见过的如此倒退,自私,只关心自己的人.直到现在韩国人也反对韩国之外的发展.
  韩国是中国的"小兄弟",从地图的也可以看出来,他们的整个历史就是寻求他们"真正并且唯一"的帝国—中国的帮助和引导.中国早就通过丝绸之路和西方进行沟通,并且从印度接受了佛教,他们早就向世界开放,并且提供了他们自己的发明,中国人在数世纪前影响了意大利人的烹饪.而日本人和韩国人对欧洲人贡献了什么??韩国泡菜??日本和服??
  骄傲贯穿着所有韩国人的血脉,如果中国人有那么一点,就可以变成比现在更伟大的民族.是什么让他们在二战中饱受日本的蹂躏?中国人应该提升对他本民族的自信,不要让韩国人和日本人拿走那些本来属于他们的荣誉.可能他们会被日本人和韩国人指责使用他们自己的汉字,或者被强迫放弃曾经属于他们帝国荣誉一部分的汉字.但是那更可以证明,中国人是多么的仁慈,他们愿意让这些野蛮异族教育他们自己.
  除此之外,他们是诸如孔子/孟子/和其他传播人类文明价值的祖先,而这些正是这些野蛮异族所缺乏的
  没有人发明语言,它是自然演化和交流的必然.
  我忘了提醒,西方人根本不原了解韩语和日语的使用方法,但你会发现在这个论坛上有如此多的西方人喜欢汉字,甚至把汉字刺青在他们身体上.我从来没遇见过西方人把韩语或者日语刻在他们身体上.因此,汉字更被西方人所接受.
  我曾经听说韩国政府非常卖力的让国际社会信服他们发明了韩语来记录自己的语言,实际上我从来没有听说过这曾经发生过.

发展在日本娱乐圈里的中国女孩


  第一名:纯纯(李纯)
  艺名:ジュンジュン
  本名:李纯(李纯) Li Chun
  生年月日: 1988年2月11日
  出身地:中国湖南省岳阳市
  身高:168cm
  血型:O 型
  星座:水瓶座
  兴趣和特长:唱歌、演戏、跳舞
  喜爱食物:辣的食物、香蕉
  外语:英语 (初级程度)
  擅长的乐器和学者年数:钢琴 2年
  喜欢的艺人:林俊杰、王心凌 阅读全文……

两女子飞机上起摩擦 用中英法日4种语言对骂


  2008年4月11日11时30分左右,一架从北京飞往大连的飞机刚刚降落,正在乘客们打算收拾行李走下飞机时,一连串激昂快速的吵骂声从人流中传了出来。发生争吵的是两位女性。与一般吵架者不同的是:这两位“高素质”的吵架者先后用中文、英语、日语和法语互相辱骂。这场特别的“骂战”一时引起了小小的混乱。在空乘人员的竭力劝阻下,两位妇女才偃旗息鼓。“会3种外语的人也算是高素质了,就为一点小事在公众场所大动肝火,实在不该。”有乘客表示。

  乘坐该航班(南航CJ6126航班)返回大连的市民许先生告诉记者,这架飞机昨日上午10时10分从北京首都机场起飞,于11时30分降落在周水子机场。

  “飞机降落后在跑道上滑行时,乘客们纷纷起身取自己的行李,在通道排队准备下飞机。”许先生说:“当时一对母女排在队伍前头,她们身后的一名35岁左右的中年妇女急于下飞机,因此挤到了这母女俩中的母亲。可这位中年妇女并没有道歉,而是继续向前挤,这引起了那位女儿的不满。双方因此发生了口角。”

  “本来就是一点小事,可是两位女士越吵声音越大,双方最后都动了气。”许先生说,虽然空乘人员迅速赶来进行劝解,那位母亲也竭力劝阻女儿就此作罢。但是冲突却进一步“升级”。“大概是中年妇女说了句‘素质太低’之类的话,这一下子惹恼了年轻女孩(指母女俩中的女儿)。她挑衅式地问那位中年妇女:你素质高?懂日语吗?随即就开始用日语大声指责中年妇女。”曾学过日语的许先生说,女孩说的日语大多是侮辱性的骂人话,而那位中年妇女也不甘示弱,也回敬了一串日语。随后女孩又改用法语大骂,中年妇女照样用法语“接招”。

  许先生告诉记者,两位女士的“多语种争吵”从飞机内的通道上一路吵到机场出口,除了日语法语两门外语之外,其间,双方还用英文“互敬”。整个争吵时间持续了近20分钟。在航班、机场工作人员的劝阻下,双方才最终偃旗息鼓。而这两位“高素质”的女士在争吵期间,却完全不顾有那么多乘客在围观。

  “我们这个航班上还有不少外国乘客,见到这样的争吵,他们也过来‘观战’。这让我觉得都有点不好意思。”许先生表示,两位争吵的女士衣着入时,会3门外语也算是高素质的人才了,想不到为这么一点小事就大动干戈,而且还把所学知识都用到争吵中,真让人替她们汗颜。

  随后,记者从周水子机场方面了解到,这起争吵并没有引起太严重的后果,但是肯定会给正常的下机秩序带来一定影响。

  “奥运会即将到来,我市也将成为外国游客的重点观光城市之一。机场是我市市民形象的对外展示的窗口之一,希望乘客能在乘坐飞机时注意公众形象。”机场的工作人员如此表示。

本文转载自:大连晚报

千万不要欺负老外不懂中文(血的教训)


在国外千万不要以为别人都听不懂中文,有例为证:

1.有两个女生到法国留学,刚到巴黎,在街上看到一个黑人从对面走来,一个对另一个说“真黑啊。”那个黑人马上走到她们面前说了一句,“就你白!”

2.我朋友一再告戒我,在国外不要乱说中文。我问为什幺?他说:“他碰到过外国人懂中文的事,已经有好几次了。”他和朋友在麦当劳吃东西聊天,正说着湖南人的话题,因为朋友是湖南人,结果有个德国mm在边上插了一句,说:“我知道湖南人,不是很好,我看过一本书。”我朋友当时吓得楞了好几秒,没回过神。他从此以后都不在外说中文了,哈哈!

3.更强的是我一个印度同学,一次有人问他,“听说你会说中国话,是幺?”那印度人立刻用中国话说:“你有毛病幺?你看不出我是印度人幺?我不会讲中国话。”立马抽丫的!

4.在法兰克福的地铁上,对面坐了个高个儿,俺跟同伴随口说了一句,“那家伙腿可真长啊……”没想到那老外居然问俺:“你有多高?”吓了俺一跳,后来俺们还用中文聊了会天。他说,“你们中国人天不怕,天不怕,就怕洋鬼子开口说中国话,哈哈哈……”最后道别时,那个家伙居然还是用上海话说了一句“再会”,俺当时差点晕倒在地……

5.我朋友的一件真事:朋友一次到东京出差,在一个高级大厦的电梯里看到一个金发碧眼穿着暴露的女郎走了进来。我这位朋友就小声问旁边的同事:“这是不是鸡啊?”谁料那个女郎猛的一回头用标准的京片子说:你丫说谁呢?小样儿!找抽吧?”

6.俺一同事(MM)在美国某机场,她和另外一位(也是MM)看见前面走着一位白人老奶奶,巨肥硕那种的。俩MM在后面用上海话说:“也不知道吃什幺能吃得这幺胖?”白人老奶奶回头,用上海话答曰“吃饭啊!”

7.我们一同学,在纽约,问路,一个巨pp的金发美女,很热心,还会中文,遂带着他走了一段,聊天,那同学夸奖说,你中文说的真好;那mm的回答巨强,说纽约就是中国人的殖民地,不会中文行幺!哈哈

8.上次我老妈坐地铁去前门 结果睡着了到站时猛然惊醒随口说了句:是前门吗?旁边一个外国小伙子利马点头说:是前门!于是老妈下车……

9.有一次和老爸在法国才好笑,我们和4各人在电梯里,然后我跟老爸说了句,“老外好高”,那几个人告诉在法国我才是老外,现在想起来当时真是丢人。还在在法国,我在超市里找面包,嘴里不停地在说面包,面包,结果旁边一个人告诉我“面包在那边”,我还说了句“谢谢”。在日内瓦吃饭的时候,竟然有老外和我说广东话,而且还很标准,晕啊~

10.我朋友在电梯里碰到一个老外.。那老外衬衫上三个扣子没扣。我朋友就跟她朋友说:“那老外胸毛很性感”。那老外立刻回以中文:“谢谢”。

11.还有一次是统计课,老师教limit,下边一同学估计是没听清楚,顺口问了一句“什幺?”,老师说:“极限啊!”同学惊,我不解。便问旁边的人:“极限什幺意思?没听过这个词,怎幺拚?”我同位也疯了,大吼“中国话你也听不懂了,limit极限啊!”我恍然大悟状。从此洗心革面,再不敢在这个金发大胡子的课上胡说八道。

12.我一朋友在国外,当时坐地铁,站在风口太冷,就很谨慎小心的遛到旁边一外国男生的旁边,让他挡风,然后,就听那哥们说,“挺聪明的嘛!”当时她就傻了。

13.还有一个老外,楞是用标准的中文告诉我说,他最欣赏中国人在冬天的一个习惯,烫脚,好舒服啊。

14.我是济南的,一次我爸爸的同事几个去美国出差,到超市买东西,拿济南话讨论,这是旁边有个美国人过来用标准的济南话说:“你们是济南的?!”同事们暴汗,聊了一会儿,原来这老外是以前战争时期留在中国的美国人后代,同事问他:“那你英文怎么样啊?”老外一拍大腿道:“英语太J8难学了!!!”

15. 有一次我和几个朋友在伦敦的一家台球房打台球,旁边有一个长的巨难看的黑人。我的两个朋友就开始讨论他多难看多难看多难看,讲了足足半个小时。估计那个黑人实在忍不住了, 忽然走过来用字正腔圆的普通话说::“朋友, 麻烦有火吗?” 我两个朋友当场傻掉。

16. 跟同事坐电梯下楼,遇一老外犹豫要不要进来,同事就用半调子跟他说“up还是down,我们要down!”老外乐一下进来了,结果电梯下两层不知为什么直接上去了。同事急,在里面跳老外就说了“嘿,哥们儿,别蹦了,咱这儿一梯子人哪”

17. 上次在五道口吃饭,排队拿菜的时候听到一堆老外讲西班牙语。就随口跟我朋友说,语言学院西班牙学生还挺多的嘛。结果一高哥们回头,说“我不是西班牙的,我是哥伦比亚的,分辨不出南美口音和西班牙口音,说明你的听力还没过关。”之后就着盘子大摇大摆的走了。留下我和我朋友傻在那。。。。。

18. 在新加坡遇到过一次,俺和2个朋友吃饭时遇到一黑发蓝眼老外帅哥坐在旁边,三色女就开始用成都说对面那个老外有点巴适,腿好长,屁股好翘哦,然后又在讨论人家的怎么会是黑发蓝眼,从遗传学一般来说黑头发都应该是棕色眼睛~~刚说到这里,那个老外走过来用正宗的成都话说:染的^ 三色女全傻了,我还顺口问了句,哪里染的~老外接到说:春熙路上哈~结果我们落荒而逃~

19. 在武汉,我和寝室姐妹到门口的拉面馆去吃饭。等了一会,有点不耐烦了,正准备催坐我们桌的一身形巨大的黑哥们一脸不耐烦地大吼“老板,个巴马老子的面快一点” (武汉方言)老板的回答暴强:“叫莫斯叫,都在等到在,你黑些就大些??等到!!!”

20. 偶在澳洲,以前在餐馆打工时候,有一次我问客人:"have you finished?"他答:“都空空如也了”。。。。。。

21. 我家附近的一个酒吧(深圳),酒吧领班,DJ是外国人,客人也是外国人居多。有一次和一个好朋友happy完了坐电梯下楼,在电梯里遇到三个外国人,两个中文不太灵的MM,应该是法国或是意大利人,和一个黑人GG,那个黑人就在电梯里对两个外国MM用中文说:“你们会不会说我们中国话?”我当时那叫一个晕,他那样的叫中国人,那我们叫什么?

22. 有次俺爹爬长城,走着走着看见一高大白人坐在台阶上。俺爹跟周围人说:“看那老外没劲啦。”那白人说:“我歇会不行么?”

23. 看到这张贴我想起以前的一个诡异的事情,那天去逛夜市,一个很帅的西方男子在一个卖毛绒玩具的小摊子前拿着一个娃娃看了很久,我当时在他身边也在挑东西,他拿的那个娃娃是个头很大,身子很小的娃娃,然后他忽然说了一句中文::大头大头,下雨不愁,你有雨伞,我有大头~~~~~~~~~然后他就掏钱把娃娃买下来笑咪咪的走了然后我就在旁边石化了…………….

24. 一个周末去北京想拉上同学作伴,她犯懒不肯跟我去,只好一个人上路。在城铁上,旁边坐一颇有“姿色”外国GG,于是打同学电话气她说:“你就不跟我来吧,叫你抱憾终身!告诉你,坐我旁边的外国GG侧面酷似布拉德皮特,养眼啊~~~”电话放下发现那GG冲我乐,心里咯噔一下,想起了好多中国人不知道外国人懂中文闹的笑话,脸上一阵阵发烧。外国GG还就真的冲我来了一句:小姐你的侧面也很漂亮…… 对面的一对情侣当场笑倒,我恨不得跳车!

25. 我,我,我,我也有一个,虽然有点破坏我的完美形象,还是说了吧:一年前,在爱丁堡,我和同学去汉堡王吃东西,站前台的是个金发蓝眼的帅哥,点完餐后我们站在那里等,然后就开始说:这鬼子真帅啊,我可以考虑和他出去。我朋友说:考虑?不要考虑了,看这身材,看这长相……我们jjww说了好久,直到我们的食物准备好了,他用英语说:给你们,非常感谢!然后压顶声音(中文):我在4点结束工作~~~~~~无地自容,吃完东西,落荒而逃

26. 这儿的很多中国留学生住在土耳其人的聚集区,那些土耳其大爷没事就跟着学中国话。那天跟同学走过清真寺,听到坐在门口条凳上的两个大爷冲我们学猫叫:瞄,瞄,瞄,左右看了半天,是对我们说的没错,看同学若无其事走过去,赶紧问是什么意思,结果同学说:哦,他们跟咱们打招呼呢,甭理他。问是什么意思,同学说,他们中国话学的不标准,把你好联起来说就变成猫叫了,我说,那总得跟他们回一句啊,于是同学立马回头冲他们说:汪汪!

27. 我男朋友是河南的,在郑州大学打篮球,看见俩黑人穿的NIKE的篮球鞋,随口跟哥们说了句:“你说他的鞋是不是中国浙江产的”,结果那老外一口地道河南呛:“这鞋俺是从老家带来的”。我男朋友随口就问:“你老家哪的啊!~”那爷们说:“俺老家是昧(美)国的!”

28. 一次跟我的朋友(是个MM)坐电梯,同乘的有个酷酷的大胡子老外。那个MM一直唧唧喳喳说个不停,我就说:“别吵了,再吵把你买给这个老外”。就看那个老外,咧开大嘴,脸露喜色的用标准普通话说:“真的??!!!”我倒~~~~~~~~

29.和朋友在一家韩国餐馆吃饭,服务生有西瓜太郎一样的头发,被我们评论了半天,最恐怖的是在那人给我们上菜的时候还肆无忌惮的说,n次之后,估计那人忍无可忍了,我们的炉子灭了,叫他给点火,那男人用标准的中文说“小心火,慢慢吃”,当时我们三个人疯了,楞是没听懂!他有用英语说了一遍,我们才缓过神来,大惊!完全无语!这顿饭的后半部分都没怎幺说话,被吓的!要知道我们在那家吃到了vip,这个过程中都不知道说了多少乱七八糟的啊!晕死!